


The Menace of SI

by Alicia_Borealis



Series: The Many Tales of the Cryptid Parker [1]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Gen, Peter Parker is a Cryptid, Peter Parker is a Little Shit, Peter Parker is a Menace, Stark Tower
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2020-07-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:35:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25171711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alicia_Borealis/pseuds/Alicia_Borealis
Summary: There was a cryptid at Stark Industries, there were many tales about this cryptid, junior staff and interns never believed the outlandish stories they were told, assuming them to be pranks from senior staff. Then one by one each of them witnesses something that cannot be explained, something that shocks their very belief foundations to the core and then they believe. These are their stories.Basically what if Peter Parker did crazy stuff and there was loads of rumours about him in the tower because no-one knew who he was and how he got away with it.
Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Series: The Many Tales of the Cryptid Parker [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1823533
Comments: 36
Kudos: 951
Collections: Peter Parker Stories, ellie marvel fics - read





	The Menace of SI

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [research and disaster](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22827064) by [blueh](https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueh/pseuds/blueh). 



> Check out the brilliant work that inspired this one!

There is a lot of lore on the menace of SI even if its origins and the extent of its abilities remain unknown. It is well known to be based at the Avengers’ tower, though there have been rare sightings of it elsewhere. There is a general consensus on its appearance: male, young, around 5’8”, with curly brown hair – there is a considerable amount of discourse on the length of the hair and rare sightings of a purple haired variant – this has been neither confirmed nor denied. For the ease of telling most refer to our local fairy-tale as a man or boy or cryptid.

There are many tales about the cryptid of SI, those new to the tower, staff or interns, tend not to believe them until proof was put in front of them. Most think that older residents of the tower are hazing them, this is why every new member of the tower is told the same introductory tale first.  
It isn’t entirely sure why it is always this story that is told, it is not the oldest, the most believable or even the most outlandish. Perhaps it is a tradition of sorts, the first story told to you is the one you tell to others, the most likely reason is that it is the story that offers proof the quickest and to work at the tower this must be ingrained in your mind or you may begin to believe you are losing it.

Our tale begins on a Monday, this was a normal Monday, an unexceptional Monday - that is to say that everyone was surviving solely on the presence of their second cup of coffee for the day. As time progressed not one soul noticed anything amiss, until a small group witnessed something extraordinary. 

Our intrepid cryptid (who at this point in time was more of a mindless rumour than a force of nature) was standing behind Tony Stark. This is not that unusual, he was staring at him with a particular kind of intensity, but Stark is Iron Man. Though the staring didn’t seem to be in awe, more as if he was waiting for something.

What he was waiting for was revealed when Stark stumbled slightly as he walked across the room, at this the boy grinned triumphantly and a faint “Mmm watcha’ say” began ringing out from the speakers of the boy’s phone. Stark turned around and glared at the kid and the music promptly stopped with a sheepish shrug. 

The staff who had witnessed this dismissed it as a silly kid trying to be funny in front of friends (despite the fact that there were no other teens around and that they had been in the staff only cafeteria – that teenagers definitely shouldn’t have access to). How wrong they were to dismiss the incident so quickly.

On Tuesday more staff noted the boy trailing Mr Stark, perhaps he was on some kind of internship experience. This was odd as it was well known that Tony didn’t like kids, but Pepper was a force to be reckoned with and perhaps this was the son of a family friend. However, there was another anomaly, everywhere the kid went - no matter what else was going on: taking notes in a meeting or supervising a product demonstration – the boy held a small Bluetooth speaker. Many people saw this but did not note it, until the intern meeting at the end of the day.

Intern meetings are held once a month, they are an opportunity for the junior members of the tower to meet with the senior and air ideas and any potential grievances. Stark rarely attended but came along every so often. The meetings have an informal atmosphere, however, there is a certain measure of respect that had never been broken, until this particular Tuesday.

As the meeting was winding down the staff were walking among the interns’ projects, Tony happened to drop a couple of papers on the round and suddenly “Mmm watcha’ say” rang out from the mysterious speaker. Once again a pointed look from Tony to the boy stopped the music, but not until the speaker had managed two lines of the song.

What was perhaps the most extraordinary thing about this was that the boy was not thrown from the room or yelled at, it was amazingly disrespectful, but he got away with it. This fact spread through the gossip mill, there were many outlandish theories, none have been confirmed, yet.

On Wednesday it happened again, the same Bluetooth speaker, the same boy, same Tony Stark stumbling – this time he only got halfway through the second line before a pointed glance was thrown his way. Everyone around (the population of the west 3 corridor) again expected some strong admonition. However, the boy just smirked at Mr Stark and mentioned something about releasing a certain video (involving an Iron Man suit and an actual banana peel) and Mr Stark shut straight up and went back to ignoring the boy, at this the kid grinned ear to ear.

Thursday developed again, the boy was still there but he was not holding any phones or speakers (some witnesses claim they saw a small remote but that has not been confirmed). The new addition was some kind of robot, it appeared to resemble a spider. The robot’s purpose was unknown though it appeared to follow Mr Stark, not needing any direction, the mysterious boy (who was gathering rumours at a rate of knots by this point) was occasionally seen holding open doors and elevators for the robot whilst making direct eye contact with Tony.

Nobody dares claim that what happened on that Thursday afternoon was intentional, but you can gather your own conclusions. The robot had been following Mr Stark for the whole day, but in the public cafeteria (which had the better Mac and Cheese and is therefore quite popular) the robot appeared to purposefully get in the boss’s way and trip him up.

As soon as Stark fell out of his stride a truly impressive speaker activated on the spider blasting “Mmm watcha’ say” for a full verse no matter how hard Tony (now on his knees) glared at the anonymous boy. The kid (a mere child in the face of Iron Man) simply shrugged and said something about that being the coding and he can’t stop it once it starts. Tony Stark responded by bringing down a heeled boot on the top of the machine, promptly cutting off any more music or tripping (purposeful or not).

At this point there was a small betting pool among the interns (and a few staff, though they’d never admit it) about what would happen on Friday. Most said the safe money was on never seeing the teen again (this was particularly popular among those who had seen the various glares their boss had given the boy) but many argued that the boy should have been gone after Monday and normal laws, be them physics or company policy, did not apply.

By mid-morning Friday many were handing over money, Mr Stark had been sighted but not the mysterious boy. All of that money and more was handed back at 12:16pm. At 12:16pm on every floor, in every room through every speaker FRIDAY had access to “Mmm watcha’ say” blasted for a full verse. The two interns and one junior staffer who had been standing next to the leaky water cooler on the fifth floor claim the music started straight after Mr Stark slipped on the water in the corridor, this is widely believed to be the truth.

However, the music was not the only consequence of Stark’s slip, every device in the tower that could receive files wirelessly was sent a video. The video appeared to be security footage, it was 12 seconds long and showed an Iron Man suit, with the mask up and Tony Stark inside slip on a banana peel in his personal lab, the video was accompanied by a short caption “You had one week to prove you were not clumsy, you have failed Mr Stark.”. 

Now you may be thinking this story is outlandish, unrealistic and that the interns and new staff of the tower are indeed having their leg yanked, except each and everyone of these staff will have seen a copy of the infamous 12 second clip (which has never made it on to YouTube through some kind of small miracle or Tony Stark’s hacking skills). If this is not enough proof for the newbies then the fact that to this day, the longest the building has gone without a simultaneous and utterly random “Mmm watcha’ say” ring through every floor is 10 days (6 of which Stark spent on a peace conference in Geneva).

**Author's Note:**

> I'm probably going to make this into a series so please request things you want Peter to do or anything you want to see in the series.
> 
> Please leave a kudos/comment!


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